Chiquito – The Philly Stack

As far as burgers go, you can’t go wrong when trying a new restaurant to order one of the most basic dishes on planet earth. Not only is it the best dish for its ability to fill you up, but the burger is always a safe bet because it happens to be one of those dishes that even the most amateur head chef operating from a children’s ‘Fisher Price: My First Kitchen’ couldn’t fuck up. Also the burger is one of those ‘I know exactly what I’m getting myself into’ type of dishes, it doesn’t tend to be like the ‘nice arse, rotten face’ type of dish, because you’ve had it a few thousand times over the course of your twenty something years, so it doesn’t tend to fail you as often as the ‘nice face, psychotic head case, what was I thinking’ type of dish…


But yea, long story short… I really liked the Philly Stack, but being that the content of cheese is mostly salt, I can’t really complain about its distinct and excessive levels of saltiness. Maybe it was the meat or the seasoning, maybe the chef is quite generous with the salt and spices, or it could just be the FACT that The Philly Stack is in FACT two humongous slabs of steak pâté doused in a mahoosive, heart clogging, ‘God Bless America‘ lashing of cheese.

The onion rings inside the burger were spiced to perfection, LITERALLY couldn’t of been made any better, and the fries however, tell a different story altogether. When they were fresh on the plate they tasted heavenly, divine, a gift from the god of thick Texan style skin on French fries but… Once a few minutes had passed, once a few mouthfuls of the salted-til-silly, doused in cheesy, Philly steak burgers were being broken down by my digestive system, I had no enzymes left in my mouth to entertain a cold French fry. Whether a few had been left on a hot plate for far too long before arriving at the table is a mystery because I have no idea how the fries, which tasted so amazing when the plate had touched the table, could taste so DEAD a matter of minutes after. I’d actually hate to think that it was a result of the enzymes being absent in the fight to break down the starch from the skin on Texan potato fries, after taking a battering from the ‘God Bless American‘ levels of excessive [salted] cheesery.

What am I going to blame it on eh?

Final Bill £42.50 (20% off)
Tip £5

Verdict 8/10

Advice – The jalapeño poppers will burn your top lip if you’re not carefull and the cheese bake is a mahoosive pizza topping in disguise so order the garlic bread as a starter. The coleslaw was amazing though, either that or I was so hungry that everything tasted amazing last night [really?].

Drink of choice – Alabama Slammer


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