London 2012 Olympics – Spice MILFs

What happened last night at the London 2012 Olympic closing ceremony? Well after sitting through three to four hours of footage, The Spice Girls triumphantly returned to the world stage -not sure if it was for one night only- as The Spice MILFs. In the years after Spice Girls disbanded Posh Spice gave up music and became a housewife, Ginger Spice joined the UN, Baby Spice became a radio personality on Heart FM, Scary Spice moved to LA where she got married and started a family, and in regards to Sporty Spice, I think she had a lucrative career recording Dance music.

It’s safe to say that none excelled the height they had reached whilst apart of the super group. It weren’t exactly a Destiny’s Child or Jackson 5 situation but they each had a post Spice musical run that I can remember at least on song from.

Posh Spice

Although some members slipped into relative obscurity, Posh managed to stay in the spotlight through her super marriage to footballer David Beckham and their infinite endorsement deals. Before she became a post Spice Anna Wintor lookalike, she linked up with UK Garage producers True Steppas and Dane Bowers of defunct boyband Another Level where they jumped on the UK Garage wave of the early noughties.

Baby Spice

Before marrying and settling down with Jade, the lead singer out of ’90s UK R&B boyband Damage, Emma Bunton featured on Tin Tin Out’s song What I Am. Every track and it’s grandmother had a UK Garage remix back then and if it weren’t for the Groove Chronicles remix I probably would of remembered the original as a pretty dire remake of the Edie Brickall & New Bohemians 1988 original but pretty blasphemous when mentioned in the same breath as the version I most remember, which was Brand Nubian’s Slow Down who sampled the original in 1990.

Ginger Spice

To my understanding, The Spice Girls broke up due to a power struggle between two of its more wilder and outspoken members, Geri Halliwell and Mel B. This ongoing power struggle resulted in Geri sacking their manager and leaving the group shortly afterwards. I could pretty much understand the decision to leave, she had always stood out: big tits, bright red fiery hair, the nude pics that came out after their initial single release and the iconic British flag dress at the Brit Awards in ’97 made by her sister. She thought she was top dog, the ego inflated, she left and popped back with this video where she buried ginger spice in a coffin and kinda played dress up. This however was the tip of the berg, she came back in a next vid after this with a super trim body and went all Gay-Lo with the track and the visuals. This video was kinda like her pop music equivalent to Ice Cube’s No Vasaline when he left N.W.A.

Scary Spice

Melanie B linked up with Missy Elliot who was super huge at the time, I expected so much more from this, I thought it was Mel B’s break America and the world record when I heard about the collab but when I listened I was quite disappointed. It sounded basic i.e an extra few hundred thousand would of got a few songwriting suggestions and more of a meatier string sound as opposed to something on a V-Tech toy from ’93. Out of all of the Spice ventures into solo domination, this was by far the weakest.

Sporty Spice

Melanie C’s careers and presence is a bit of a Scooby-Doo mystery, she disappeared after a string of dance hits in an era before the whole urban-pop-dance amalgamation became cool again.

So there you have it, the unofficial ‘fill in the gaps’ of the Spice Girl’s unsuccessful solo careers as recording artists. They all looked alright considering, you know, but Gerri Halliwell gets the award from me because she had the Wonder Woman inspired outfit although Mel B comes a close second cah shes got maaad body.

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