How To Catch A Cougar

If you’d like to pull the more sophisticated and vintage vixens among the XX specie, here’s four of the basics to get you started. I’ve dated women with mothers fitter than the daughters, and my recent admiration for the more sophisticated and elder vixens have also helped me to coin a new theory…

When making the decision to marry a woman, analyse her mother and picture whether you’ll still be faithful twenty years down the line or on the verge of a messy divorce because you went and got caught with the PYT (Pretty Young Thing).

Digressions aside, at the dawn of twenty six, I find myself slyly attracted to ladies in their early to mid thirties. Maybe it’s the fact that a lot of them are independent career driven vixens who’ve already realised that a lot of life’s ideals were simply idealisms therefore not actual or realistic, so there’s no expectation, no pressure, no neediness…

Anna Wintour will have to keep her shades on at all times

There could be the underlying victory to be gained of finally bagging the sexy babysitter when getting with a woman ten to fifteen years your senior -presuming it wasn’t a relative but the hot foreign au-pair who spoke next to no english with the mahoooosive chest you used to rub your head in after faking a sad face. Bagging a cougar is like catching the biggest fish in the sea, you know the prize catch, the queen bee. A cougar is some mature cheddar but a vintage vixen will be like the cathedral city extra mature… Nonsensical autogas!

The funny thing is, half of you may think I’m being serious, but all I wanted to do was share some of my favourite songs from my ‘Cougar Marauder‘ playlist. *autogas on the playlist name

… But then if I were being serious, there would be three that I could name off the top of my head almost instantly, no names might I add. Cougar, Milf, or Vintage Vixen I really can not deny that age means nothing when it comes to beauty nor sophistication and anyone who thinks otherwise needs to check themselves.… *Amen

Peace

Disclaimer: This was a sarcastic posting, most if not all women as well as men are needy, and I have never perved on anyone’s mother to prove/disprove my theorem.
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2 thoughts on “How To Catch A Cougar

  1. Pingback: How To Catch A Cougar (via Up In The Ear) « Music Industry Insider

  2. Pingback: LOST I.T x Up In The Ear Mayday Mix | Up In The Ear

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