It seems like eternity since she burst onto the scene with the ‘Get out/Leave’ song where she was out in the rain prancing about in a tracksuit but my oh my have the years flown by. After a long hiatus JoJo is back! No longer thirteen years old confined to a jail bait box she is ripe for the picking, she’s slender, she’s foxxxy, she’s also 21!!!… It’s peak times if I ever run into her cah she’s gonna get scooped up like vanilla Haagen-Daaz!
Beauty and smash factor fantasies aside, I love how she came back with the signature acoustic sound that showcases her vocal ability rather than jump on the techno-pop wave. For that I rate you highly because you’re back on your own terms catering to your core audience and the fans who’ve stuck by you from day one. I like that you’re providing a mature voice to those that like you have grown into adults too.
Foxxx Factor Rating: fx-TRILL (peak levels of smash-ability)
She also gets points for being the only artist to cover Amy Winehouse that hasn’t made me cringe. I love you JoJo, when you come to London I’ll have a Nando’s whole free bird card with your name on it. <3
This is the playaz guide to children’s television brought to you by none other than the casanovice himself Count Calvaine.
The Flintstones is an animated, prime-time American television sitcom that ran from September 30, 1960 to April 1, 1966, on ABC. Produced by Hanna-Barbera Productions, The Flintstones was about a working-class Stone-Age man’s life with his family and his next-door neighbor and best friend. It has since been re-released on both DVD and VHS. The show celebrated its 50th anniversary on September 30, 2010. (Wiki)
Wilma Flintstone & Betty Rubble
The Count says:
Betty was always a hottie although Wilma was aiiight too… Tough childhood choices. I’d clump both of them at the same time because I’m Count Calvaine Caveman Shabba!
Clarissa Explains It All is an American situation comedy television series from Nickelodeon starring Melissa Joan Hart. It was created by Mitchell Kriegman, encompassing 65 episodes shown during five seasons. The teen sitcom ran from March 23, 1991, to October 1, 1994, and then went into reruns. In the series, Clarissa Darling, a teen girl, breaks the fourth wall and describes the things that are happening in her life (dealing with typical preadolescent concerns such as school, boys, pimples and an annoying little brother) to her television audience. (Wiki)
The Count says:
Man like Sam shudda been beating Clarissa if he’s always at her window and the parents know. Swear down famalamadingbat! I would of been up that ladder and through the window to tear it down and put the smack down on that ya gemme!
*Who’s dumber: The Parents for allowing a boy to climb up a ladder to their daughters room or Sam for never cutting a slice?
Man like Freddie is nuts! I rate man for pulling Daphne because she was the boojis catch but Velma had the backoff. Since man like Shaggs was on a layage he shudda been slicing both. Sweardown! I think he was ya na.
*Boojis; pretty, prestige, eloquent basically a catch on all levels.
Sister, Sister is an Emmy Award-winning American television sitcom about identical twin girls Tia Landry and Tamera Campbell (Tiaand Tamera Mowry), who were separated and adopted at birth, when one day they come face-to-face after 14 years apart. (Wiki)
Tia and Tamera
The Count Says:
Man like Roger weren’t rogering Tia or Tamera, he shudda just jogged on to a next yard or rolled up with skuds and juice to hit the twins because that combo never fails in the hood.
Moesha is an American sitcom series that aired on the UPN network from January 23, 1996 to May 14, 2001. The series stars R&B singerBrandy Norwood as Moesha Mitchell, a high school student living with her family in Los Angeles. (Wiki)
The Count Says:
Man like Hakeem is a nutcase! Manaman shudda been popping cherries from morning! Telling me he’s up in the yard for three meals a day and he ain’t cutting piece off none o dem!?!? Fam… He could of had Moesha, Kim, and Niecie but he petted. He ended up getting Q’s scraps EEEEdiat… Wasteman!
Certain man did time for lashing the powerpuff girls! Them man there got no shame! None whatsoever… SMH! SNM!
Dexter’s Laboratory (commonly abbreviated as Dexter’s Lab) is an American animated series created by Genndy Tartakovsky and produced by Cartoon Network Studios (also co-produced with Hanna-Barbera in 1996-2001). The show was about a boy named Dexter who had an enormous secret laboratory filled with an endless collection of his inventions. The series premiered in the United States onCartoon Network on April 28, 1996 and ended on November 21, 2003. As of 2006, Cartoon Network’s sister channel Boomerang now reruns the show. The show returned to Cartoon Network in reruns on November 8, 2010 until March 4, 2011. (Wiki)
Mandark, Dexter, DiDi
The Count Says:
Dexter is my dawg still but shiiiiiieeeet I would tumped up DiDi cah she fucked up a lot. I lenged down Mandark for trying a ting but still I was him I’d move on DiDi, non frontage!
*There’s plenty more that could of added but since our guest Count Calvaine’s BBM was blowing up, he had to dash off to -as he put it- ‘link some beanage for some sleazage’. I hope you enjoyed our guest contributer, part two soon come…
The Count Says:
